December 9--Deccember 15,2006--------------------------------------------1) In the National Development Council meeting ,Prime Minister said that muslims have the first claim on the countries resources .You know what that means --Abhishek Bacchan can kiss Ash good-bye .Now Salman Khan has the first claim to her.
2) Senior BJP leader L K Advani indicated in an interview that he was very much in the race for Prime Minister ---not possible Advaniji,its become a "Primary Muslim" post.
3) Advani was asked if he was an aspirant for the Prime Ministers post?He replied that in British tradition ,the position of leader of opposition is supposed to be that of Prime minister -in -waiting.That is British tradition.In Indian tradition we have a Prime Minister waiting on the Super Prime Minister of the country.
4) We never claimed Kashmir is our integral part ,said Pakistan on monday.So apparently they were only playing the "claim game" these last 50 years.
5) Pakistan: Kashmir is not an integral part of Pakistan.
India :Thats sho shweet.We had every intention of giving it to you ,but now you must at least accept Karachi .We insist.We are not going to take no for an answer.....
6) Congress Pr.Sonia Gandhi is accusing NDA for the plight of muslims and farmers.I think she knows what she is talking about.Because if you prod her further she will tell you--- at the stroke of the midnight hour when the world was sleeping and/or watching ekta kapoor serials ,the eve of BJP stepping to power,a star may or may not have been in the east, at that exact second ,muslim and farmer plight started....
7) Laloo Prasad is now getting folk singers to do the chhaiya-chhaiya number on top of trains.....while folks in Singur are doing the old "aa dekhe jara kisme kitna hai dum ......" .
8) Laloo Prasad is on a high.He says everyone wants to know what jadu-tona he did on the railways .Its a great turnaround story......just like this one-------nowadays when your friendly neighbourhood gangster ,in a dark alley,sticks a gun into you ,he won't tell you to slowly turnaround and raise your hands above your head.He'll tell you "dhirey sey railway karo aur chhaiya-chhaiya ga do" .
9) Mamata has given a call to boycott all Tata products.........especially Buddhadeb Bhattarcharjee,latest from the tata line of products.
10) All the hullabulla in Singur is about a Tata motor plant for manufacturing small cars---real problem is cars manufactured are going to have a right hand drive .
11) Natwar Singh was summoned by the enforcement directorate in a case of alleged violation of FEMA in the Iraq Oil-for-food scam .Thats why they tell you avoid oily food it always causes trouble.
12) Mohammad Afzal has moved the supreme court seeking review of judgement .His contention article 21 (right to life )of constitution is inviolable.......Oh!So now the tiger thinks vegetarianism is a good idea does he??
13) SAARC human rights violation index prepared by Asian Centre for human rights says that rights violation in India is least among SAARC countries.Depression index has gone up in our activists crowd....just when they were gainfully employed with afzal guru ,along comes this news ........
14) Ban ki moon took oath on thursday.He promised to work to achieve highest ethical standard and also highest levels of efficiency,competence and integrity in UN .In other words he is promising himself-- the moon.
15) Lucknow University Vice Chancellor is on a collision course with SP leaders.He said he wanted all criminal elements to be flushed out of hostels.Thats rather an ambitious plan ,because if you really want to get rid of criminal elements he'll have to flush out UP itself from the map of India.
16) Manmohan Singh is on a trip to Japan .....and news is its really become uncomfortable for him there--while the Japs bow forward to greet,manmohan is used to bending over backwards.....
17) Shiv sena has pledged support to Sharad Pawar if he becomes PM.What a waste of goodwill.In Nehru monarchy Sharad Pawar has as much chance of becoming PM as Manmohan Singh.
18) Manmohan is on a trip to Japan.There are reports in the papers that the Japs may insist that he take back the Renkoji Ashes believed to be of Netaji Bose.As soon as salman Khan heard Ash-es he lost his cool--first Vivek then Abhishek,and now........he has dialled Japan and started bad mouthing both Renkoji and Netaji .
DEC' 13,A Reminder-Strange Case of activist brain:-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Three unanswered question--
1) how come left activists are not just pro-life they are almost always pro low -life(forms)?
2) just to satisfy the collective ego of lefties,why should'nt a terrorist be brought to justice ?
3) why does'nt the left get ---anytime ,any place,any where, anyhing right?
December 2--December 8,2006-----------------------------------------1) Pooja Bhatt met with a minor accident when the car she was travelling ,collided with another vehicle in Goa.DG of Goa police said, it was nothing to worry about, she had suffered only minor injuries.No need to tell us we all know that the Bhatts only suffer from minority injuries.
2) Do you know US policy of bombing Iraq called "shock and awe"? Well the desi version of "shock and awe" has just been released by Vasundhara Raje Scindia--its called "liplock and awe".
3) Speaking from Pune on sunday, former Law Minister Ram Jethmalani said the press should be careful that its enthusiasm does'nt turn into interference in the working of courts.Actually in the case of our press, their interference should not turn into enthusiasm.
4) Criticising media activism Ram Jethmalani said "creating public prejudice"is the highest form of contempt of court.
Press : "Thank you .We try our best".
5) Medha Patkar reached Singur to protest W Bengal decision to acquire farmland for Tata Motors.
In Gujarat, Narendra Modi was seen with a gigantic bowl of pop-corn.He said he wants to catch the repeat telecast of some soap.Name of the serial(slightly longish title)--- "In a makeshift tent , we declare fast unto death,drink free fruit juice and then move on to the next site".
6) Medha Patkar was prevented by W Bengal police from entering Singur.Patkar was taken to a Kolkata guest house.She refused to step down from the police van and spent the night in it. W Bengal police have become nervous .They say she spent the night measuring the height of the drivers seat and asking questions like--if you put a drivers seat in the van how many passengers get displaced?
7) Shiromani Akali Dal President Prakash Singh Badal , praised Navjot Singh Sidhu and said that he would campaign for the SAD-BJP combine in the next Punjab Assembly elections. Why Sad then?be happy!
8) Kiran Desai's novel "The Inheritance of Loss" has outraged Nepalis because of the way they have been portrayed .They are also angry at her,for the reference to Mohammed Ali Jinnah.One letter complains -- "Desai thinks of Jinnah only as a pork eater........"
Their anger is justified one should actually think of him as "we are what we eat".
9) Kingfisher swimsuit calendar 2007 was unveiled.Its called French Riveria.Report says it was done onboard the majestic yacht "The Indian Empress".Outside Congressmen queued --all wanted a turn polishing the foot of the yacht.
10) Law and Order are "non-existent" in UP ,said Sonia Gandhi on a visit to her sons constituency . Then law and order have something in common with our PM in Delhi.
11) Bernard Weber founder of new 7 wonders trust has invited votes from around the world.He was in India to promote the Taj .I think India will make the list because we have the Taj,the Iron Pillar,our PM who can walk without a spine--in short a spineless wonder.
12) In Rajkot a cow has developed taste for paan."Gauri" is a regular customer at "Shanker Paan Corner",a paan selling kiosk.A lot of onlookers watch her relishing it. Once someone asked Gauri you don't mind all the attention and she said no.In Bihar she says all of us cow folks used to hang out ,amusing ourselves watching one of you gulp down our fodder.
13) Sonia Gandhi accusing Mulayam Singh's govt said there is no law and order in UP.I think law and order must be having dual citizenship because in Maharashtra too, its been listed under "missing persons".
14) India cannot progress if "girls" are not educated said Sonia gandhi on tuesday.Ok logically then ---India has not progressed under congress,therefore:
a)congress is not educated and
b)congress is a girl.
15) A reuters report says --Bats make use of earths magnetic field to navigate and there is one species whose tongue is longer than its entire body but the report did'nt say if the name of that species is Somnath Chatter-jee.
16) In an interview to a TV channel Pakistan President Musharraf said he thinks highly of Manmohan singh but defended criticising him in his book.
We in India can also think highly of him --once we put him on top of the himalayas or put five drinks into him,Manmohan I'm sure will appear quite high.
17) In the same interview Musharraf said the intelligence of the two countries have only caused harm in the last 50 years.Then someone asked him "are you intelligent?"And he said "yes".
18) Quoting from Musharraf 's recent book "....I feel that if a leader is to get away from hackneyed ideas and frozen positions we have to be bold.".In the interview ,he said about the foreign office"Its hackneyed .You come up with a new idea and they will shoot it down straight......".
It seems "Hackneyed" is his favourite word ,because if you ask him if Nawaz sharif and Benazir Bhutto will be allowed to participate in the elections he'll let you know how he will hack their knees and boldly shoot them ,if they dare to.
19) Delhi Pradesh BJP Pr.Harshvardhan accused both congress and left parties of indulging in electoral malpractices.Both parties had put up posters of convicted terrorist Afzal Guru and Abdul Nasir Madani ,projecting them as ideals during campaign in kerela by-elections.I'm not sure if this is an electoral malpractice since in a demon-cracy your allowed to worship anyone.
Speakerism's:The Great One liner Challenge. --------------------------------------------------------------
1)Speakers are like wives--constantly nagging.
2)Speakers are like miniskirts--always want to draw attention to themselves.
3)The only thing you get in life without trying, is a speaker in your face.
4)Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two and you speaker are that "puncture or two".
5)Your chatter-jing runs like an Indian Taxi meter..
6)Speakers should not be like manure-trying to spread themselves around.
7)Speakers should also not be like peas--muttering all the time.
November 25--December 1,2006
----------------------------------------------
1) Have you ever wondered that if Hindi-chini are bhai-bhai then what are Pakistan and China?.Pakistan went all out to lay the red carpet for Chinese President Hu Jianto.President Musharraf broke protocol and went to receive him.They conferred their highest civilian award Nishan-e-Pakistan on Jianto.Its a doubtful case whether Hindi-Chini are Bhai-Bhai but Pakistan for sure is China's lawfully wedded wife.
2) SRK is going to be the next host of Kaun Banega Crorepati.But is he really the best choice?By the time he finishes saying K-K-K-K-K -Kaun will there be anytime left to become K-K-K -crorepati?I would have thought this is one mouth jise lock kar diya jai.
3) Paswan has a lot to say about creamy layer among the SC/ST.He says creamy layer has no relevance for them ,mandal commission had stated that it was not applicable to them ,constitutional amendment must be brought in etc etc.Well I would'nt take him seriously.Most of his statements are fact free,completely skimmed of truth .
4) Now Paswan wants reservations even in judicial services.May be we should also think of deciding judicial verdicts by minority vote ---- 5:2 ratio,2 wins.
5) Paswan defending reservations for muslims said the entire community as a whole should be declared backward.No sooner did he utter that ,riots took place,fatwas rained......... they are furious at Paswan for calling them----- "as a whole".
(In Paswans defence he is not South Indian )
6) India is going to make visa procedures for Pakistanis hassle free--airconditioned hall,tokens in place of queues,toilets,cafetaria etc are on the anvil.In fact India wants to build up their confidence so much that once they get to India they will not feel shy to ring any doorbell and ask "RDX kahan milta hai?"
7) Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajakpakse said he would ask for joint patrolling of the sea because" not only arms are being smuggled into our country but drugs are also coming"....
Scene: mumbai airport with just one last ticket to Sri Lanka.Sanjay Dutt to Rahul Mahajan"Shall we toss?"
8) If you have been following debates on TV regarding reservations for muslims ,some are claiming that there is no creamy layer among them.In that case don't you wonder where do they get all their Fat--wa'es from?
9) Cops confirmed on monday that there is SIMI hand in Malegoan bomb blasts.Yes but "hand" is not good enough for Javed Akhtar .He'd desperate to know if Shiv Sena /Bajrang Dal leg is in it?If not leg any part,some hair ? nail? tail? anything ?something?.......
10) Renuka Chowdhary Minister for Women and Child Development attacked Greg Chappell for his comments .As soon as Greg Chappell came to know,for safety's sake he has consulted a lawyer and started sending notes of apologies to all ex-girlfriends from kindergarten onwards.
11) Renuka Chaudhary Minister for Women and Child Development threatened to bring a privelege motion against Greg Chappel if other MP's agreed."Isn't that a bit of an overreaction?But understandable since our MPs are really like children that have not yet reached developed state.
12) Marxist leader Jyoti Basu declared on sunday that United States is a terrorist state.He said India should follow a totally independent foreign policy--one that is completely dependent on the left.
13) Shibu Soren Coal minister in the Congress govt. got convicted for murder .Who could have seen this coming ??Actually more than anybody else he should have discerned the pattern---when Bihar leads to Tihar then coal can only lead to goal.....
14) Sanjay Dutt is not a terrorist declared TADA court on tuesday,which means his name has just been struck of from the "best friends" list of Arundhati Roy and other activist organisations.
15) There was some criticism about Sanjay Dutt's acquittal--why was he let off when others asociated with him got convicted.Justice Kode says thats only because he has seen a big transformation in junior Dutt---after an initial rocky start ,which took him into the unfortunate khalnayak phase he turned a new leaf,went on to acquire an MBBS and now has adopted the gandhian way of life.Its there for the whole world to see.He says thats what sets him apart from the others.
16) This report from Botswana:Rising temperatures could force the birth of more female crocodiles and fewer male ones .In India our experience has been slightly different.Here one female Renuka Chowdhary has forced rising temper in many male crocodiles.
17) Trained bees can sniff out bombs say scientists at a US weapons laboratory.Oh Yeah!Big deal!!We in India have one untrained Javed Akhtar who can sniff out perpetrators of any bomb blasts ....he's got a very scientific system in place .After every blast he just yells "shiv sena "!bajrang dal"!"narendra modi"!.
18) US state department spokesman said they encourage China and Pakistans bilateral relations.What bilateral relations?China and Pakistan are only into marital relations.
19)Lost by 157 runs at Durban,106 runs at Capetown and 80 runs in the 4th one-dayer.Ooh Ahh India !!! or Ouch !AwwwwwOuch!! India??
20) Reacting to parliamentarians attack on Greg Chappel former cricketer Navjot Singh Sidhu said politicians must refrain from making comments on the game since they do not know much about cricket.That may be so.But the way the Indian cricket team has been playing it does'nt seem as if they know anything about cricket either.
GAMES PEOPLE PLAY:
-----------------------------------
BJP : Kaun banega Prime Minister?
CONGRESS: Kaun banega substitute Prime Minister:-?
LALOO PRASAD : Kaise banegay Prime Minister?
MAYAWATI : Kab banegay Prime minister?
MALLIKA SHERAWAT: Kab milega crore--pati?
SHWETA MAHAJAN: Kaisa mila Kroore pati:-(
RAHUL GANDHI: kahey kar (mummy se) ban jayegay Prime Minister:-)
November 18---November 24,2006
-------------------------------------------------
1) Rajinder Sachar committee that looked into the status of muslims in the country submitted its report to the PM....News is Sachar has decided its high time to make achar of this country.
2) In an interview with CNN/IBN's Karan Thapar Jethmalani said,he took up Manu Sharma's case because of the vicious propoganda being conducted against him by the media.I think thats not fair because media and all commie types have come up with a very fair formula---they want Saddam Hussain and Afzal Guru to be let off, and in their place they are more than willing to let Manu Sharma hang twice.
3) Natwar Singh is repeatedly challenging the congress to expel him .Since I repel ,you expel ,he says,but congress ka dimag he ki manta hi nahi.
4) Advani addressing a rally in Bangalore said his party will oppose tooth and nail any move to introduce religion based reservations.More accurately his party will oppose with dentures and ingrown nails religion based reservations.
5) Laloo is struttering about like a peacock..... he believes he is minister no. 1.Congress is not at all pleased with that bit of self-praise and more so Manmohan-- all he gets to say is I'm PM no.2
6) BJP is completely opposed to religion based reservations for muslims.If they are as commited to opposing reservations as they were to building the Mandir at Ayodhya all pro -reservationists can breathe in peace....
7) So many parallels between India and China --2 fastest growing economies,world's most populous countries ,ancient civiliztions,China does'nt recognise Mcmohan Line and in India no recognition for Manmohan line .
8) Congress is determined to bring in religion based reservations....why should'nt there be quo-ta ?they ask -----especially when it leads to vo-ta?
9) Angry at UPA stance on a border dispute between Karnataka and Maharashtra ,Bal Thackeray said in the sunday edition of Samna"The Central Govt is nothing but an antique piece which should be kept in a museum".We would if there was the slightest chance anyone would steal them and take them out of the country ........
10) Bal Thackeray said The "idiot"(meaning the UPA Govt.) has forgotten that all states were created on linguistic basis.Someone should tell him to mind his mouth----Maneka Gandhi and PETA are alive and thriving.
11) Tony Blair talking to a Pakistan private channel Geo TV said that it is best for India and Pakistan to resolve Kashmir issue bilaterally.He said we cannot interfere--which should of course please india and immediately bring to mind Britains long history of non-interference in various parts of the globe.
12) Sino-Indian talks almost broke down.No ,India does'nt take offence at any insult but after the Jalpaiguri train blast no one was sure whether it was the KLA or some Bangladeshi outfit and everyone started yelling "Who done it? Hu done it? Who dun it?".That did'nt go well with the chinks.
13) Tibetans protested Chinese premiers visit.India's stand on Tibet is that it is an "autonomous" part of China--which means its just like Pakistan.
14) China won't give up claim on Arunachal Pradesh.And both countries are celebrating"friendship year".So I think for friendship sake ,in the spirit of give and take India can promise to gift Arunachal Pradesh--- as soon as China gives us one of those chinese boxes to fit it in.
15) India-China signed 13 pacts on tuesday.The two countries declared that they are not "rivals" but "partners for mutual benefit"....."mutual benefit "we are not sure but certainly its the same kind of janam janam ka partnership that a stabbing knife has with a foolish "back".
16) Pappu Yadav said he is being mentally tortured and threatened to commit suicide in Tihar jail....Beleaguered Maharashtra CM Vilasrao Deshmukh immediately arranged a loan from NABARD for him ...
17) Hu Jianto came to India and commies went visiting him.He adviced them to become more pragmatic in this era of globalisation.So please update your economics --now pragmatic communism =capitalism.
18) Do you know how to get commies to shut their mouth?Get China to claim Indian territory then in the silence that will follow you will hear crickets chirping.....
19) An amazing feat --In Bihar's Arah district a man has chewed over 10,000 snakes.Neeranjan Bhaskar has been doing this for two decades now.Still no dent in the commie population of the country......
20) IIM Ahmedabad is being flooded by Bihari CM's ex and current these days.First Laloo Prasad and now Nitish Kumar is going to address students there.Or in other words "disaster" followed by "management".
MIX 'n' MATCH
-----------------------
CHINA: "not just Tawang entire Arunachal Pradesh is ours"
RAM JETHMALANI(in an interview with Karan Thapar): "You can go on talking bullshit and continue that bullshit.I am totally impervious....repeated bullshit does'nt become wisdom."
November 11--November 17,2006----------------------------------------------
1)Belgium conferred the Order of Leopold award on Sonia Gandhi for her "constructive nationalism" and effort to create a multicultural,tolerant society in India.Ok ,so which European country is now going to confer an "Order of so and so ----" on Priyanka Gandhi for teaching constructive motherhood to Indian women??
2)Saudi Arabia is planning to set-up a consulate in Hyderabad.Their ambassador said it will help people from Andhra Pradesh to get visas and also strengthen relations between India and Saudi Arabia----if you want to get specific, it will strengthen relations between 80yr old Saudi men and 8 yr old Indian kids.
3)Appearing before a MCOCO court Telgi claimed that some of the co-accused are planning to kidnap his daughter.And if no one believes him he is willing to give it in writing on stamp paper.
4)Sheila Gujral w/o former PM I K Gujral ,in her book of reminiscenses "So Many Journeys" writes --"clever-headed mice" and garden rats are the "permanent residents" of 3 Race Course Road--the residential wing of the official residence of the PM..........hmmmmmmmmm..........no comments.
5)Foreign Secretary level talks with Pakistan are scheduled for this week .India says shes talking to Pakistan only to "test" her commitment to fight terrorism.Pakistan on her part has already put India to test several times .Everytime India comes out in flying colours --- a certfiable fool.
6)With regard to Indo-Pak talks taking place this week Indian sources say they are adopting a "three legged " approach with Pakistan in which terrorism is a central issue---
the only three-legged approach that will work on Pakistan is the one that a doggy adopts while talking to a tree.
7)Heres a bit of interesting news --Nehru Zoological Park,Hyderabad is going to conserve endangered storks and vultures.Some species are on the verge of extinction .They will be assisted in their efforts by Centre for Cellular and Molecular Biology.The other Nehru Zoological Park in Delhi is operating fine--here vultures are prospering.
8)A Kuwaiti Aircraft on tuesday took a left and entered into a "no-fly" zone area over the PM's residence,which caused a security scare.
Arundhati Roy,Medha Patkar & Co. immediately took pre-emptive action---they threw 57 fits,declared they would fast unto death ,demanded clemency for the plane and said they won't tolerate it, if the plane is sent to the Hang-ar.
9)PM Manmohan Singh underwent a medical check-up at AIIM's on sunday.Nothing to worry ,hospital sources said it was a routine check-chicken-up.
10)Mamata Banerjee is being rigorously wooed by the congress .She does'nt know for sure whether she wants to be with NDA or congress but she's absolutely certain she would like to blame the 'left' for her dilemma.
11)The tourism minister of UP,Kaukab Hameed since taking oath has spent over 2 crores on his foreign trips......tourism minister or tourist minister ??Ok,now lets all say a prayer he isn't "family planning" minister.
12)A week before Chinese Pr.Hu Jianto visits India ,the Beijing envoy to India ,categorically stated that "not just Tawang entire Arunachal Pradesh is Chinese territory"--this in an interview to CNN/IBN.I think now is the time for India to think out of the box and enlist the services of Shoaib Aktar (and Angelina Jolie's bodyguard's if necessary).
13)One news item says 4 million Brits suffer from toilet phobia.Around the same number 4 million Brits(+/- some million)have never been to Pakistan.Coincidence??I think not!
14)China has claimed entire Arunachal Pradesh as Chinese territory......how long before PM tells us we are multi-racial ,the chinese have been discriminated against ,they are a minority in India, Arunachal Pradesh must be reserved for them?
15)"Age is no hurdle to becoming President" ,said Shekhawat whose name is also floating for the presidential post.Ok ,so can our very talented junior champs apply for the position?
16)India reacted to the Chinese claim to Arunachal Pradesh.But suprisingly it was Pakistan who told off China--"don't break the queue "they said,"This is a single window facility--we have applied for Kashmir,and Bangladesh is standing over there with at least 12 applications.Please wait your turn.....aap qatar mein hai...."
17)Indo-Pak foreign secretary meeting took place this week and a "joint mechanism" was set-up.In another story, the Aedes mosquitoes had a composite dialogue amongst themselves in which they concluded that since Indians are such suckers, lets try out this CBM(Confidence Building Measure) thing--they are planning to increase people-to-people contact......
18)In the meeting with Pakistan this week no progress was made on the Siachen issue.Pakistan repeatedly said that solution to Siachen was a "matter of days"----Pakistan disintegrating so soon??
19)PM Manmohan Singh on thursday spoke with US Pr.Bush about the passage of the Indo-US nuclear deal.He appreciated Bush's commitment to the deal and also profusely thanked him--"I'm honoured that you named an entire session after me--lame duck"
20)In Orissa teachers of non-aided colleges on wednesday went "begging" and "shoe-polishing" to protest against Government refusal to release grants.Congress is livid and is planning to bring suit for violation of their patent rights.
GANDHIGIRI: ---------------------
1)CHINA: Arunachal Pradesh is ours.we are going to take it
INDIA: Please ,have some more....
2)GOVT : We want reservations for minorities
HINDUS: No problem.Reserve the whole country .We'll shift into the Indian Ocean.
3)EHUD OLMERT:it is "absolutely intolerable for Tel Aviv to accept the threat of a nuclear Iran".
IRAN :starts displaying ads on TV "enriched uranium is harmful to health".
4)ANGELINA JOLIES BODYGUARDS: you bloody Indians!!
INDIANS :If you don't like Indians ,we promise ,we'll try our best to become Japanese.
November 4--November10,2006
-------------------------------------------
1)According to army chief JJ Singh the Indo-Pak anti-terror mechanism is still at discussion level.But they have more or less reached a consensus and differences are only in the modalities.Minor things like--India wants to spell anti as A-N-T-I and Pakistan wants to spell it P-R-O.
2)Saddam Hussain was sentenced on sunday for killing 148 people in a single village.During the verdict ,he kept shouting "God is great !!".Shah Rukh Khan immediately held a press conference to say "I don't see why he is dragging me into this?".
3)Its happened again--at a government function ,held in Sriperumbudur ,PM Manmohan Singh and Chairperson Sonia Gandhi left without singing the National Anthem,leaving behind a puzzled audience.But you patriots out there ,don't worry .Congress will soon set up a committee ,and centenary or no centenary ,we will be celebrating 100yrs of the National Athem on some random date ,very soon again.
4)Central Secretariat Library is conducting a poll to prepare a list of 100 best hindi novels of all times.There is also going to be a list of 100 best english novels translated into hindi and another of 100 best novels in regional Indian languages-------- UPA's Common Minimum Programme is making a clean sweep in all categories.
5)Papers reported that on Saturday Hollywood actress ,Angelina Jolie ,spent time with refugees in Delhi.Natwar Singh immediately issued a denial saying ,its completely fabricated,she never met him, its very wrong of her to use such a strong word like"refugee" for him and she would not have used that word, had she been of this culture.
6)50 young officers of the Pakistani Air Force were arrested for an earlier attempt to assasinate Musharraf....Musharraf has already penned a book saying there were 5000 men with the deadliest weapons, but he bravely fought them .He seized their weapons with his hand while using his legs to continuously kick them, till frightened they all ran away (some disintegrated like powder and were blown away).And by the way ,it was a big slap in the face of India and her army......The book is a sequel "In the line of a liar part II".
7)Left is outraged at Saddam's indictment.They call it a "judicial travesty","totally rigged verdict" and a "farcical trial".Arn't these the same people who won the paternity suit for "rigged " and "farcical " ?
8)Two former Army officers accused the NDA govt of not allowing them to cross the line of control, for which the army paid a heavy price, during the Kargil war.But congress came to NDA's defence.LoC they said was never at the border---Madam was in delhi those days.
9)It has been reported ,Indo-russia "space" programme will get a boost with Putin signing the accord......Putin is going to help push Jayalalitha ???
10)Appeal process for Saddam Hussain has been put in motion--but all except the left find him unappealing.
11)Pr.Bush hailed the conviction of Saddam Hussain saying its a milestone in Iraq.Commies ,as usual ,are training their guns on Bush .But if you can take an objective view there is nothing wrong in what Bush said .Its a stone,a mile long ,on Saddam ,in Iraq---in short therefore a milestone.
12)Who sang it??not Sonia Gandhi and not PM Manmohan Singh.As per reports after a high profile government function ,both left without singing the National Anthem.But congress spokespersons when confronted ,are unfazed.Its just routine for them now.In fact ,they are bored.Pick up any one of a,b,c,d they say:
a)PM and madam were not invited .
b)it was not a major function .
c) their knees were paining.
d)they only know the lyrics of "we are the world".
13)Lok Sabha speaker Somnath Chatterjee will not host the traditional lunch and dinner meetings ahead of the winter session of parliament.No one believes in "free lunches" more than a commie ,always looking for a free breakfast at Manmohan's ,but try getting them to host one ............!!!
14)Chinkara's have really taken a dislike for the bollywood Khan's ----first Salman Khan for shooting one,then Aamir Khan for filming one and next in line it maybe Shah Rukh Khan perhaps for looking at one--- .Seems to me, like its the Khans who are the in-danger species here.
15)A news report says SIMI,the Students Islamic Movement of India,outlawed , may be regrouping under different names.Javed Aktar immediately sneered "see I told them right after the Malegoan blast those different names are bajrang dal and shiv sena .The police is biased otherwise it would have investigated whether they have grouped under the name --Narendra Modi."
16)A new study says child rearing makes men smarter.It boosts mental activity.I don't think that research will stand upto test------Congressmen have been rearing Rahul baba for soooooo loooonnnngggg now.........
17)Uma Bharti said Advani and Vajpayee are like widowed Aunts.Vajpayee is cool but Advani fumed..."Tell Uma,I can be equally ballistic".Inside sources say he's planning to call her "secular".
18)Space scientists and technocrats on tuesday resolved to send a "manned" mission to space.Well that effectively eliminates any congresswala's chance to get into space-----
19)Jethmalani on wednesday created a sensation.He told the court Manu Sharma is not guilty.It was the police---a tall Sikh COP shot Jessica.A distressed Manmohan Singh ran to Sonia Gandhi--"Madam,Madam,he has gone too far this time .You know that I did'nt even know her.He is now saying one tall Sikh FLOP shot her".
20)Retired Army Colonel ,Anil Kaul ,a liasion officer with the Pakistan team made a sensational allegation that Shoiab Aktar had slapped coach Bob Woolmer.....
We still don't know for sure if it is true ,but in Calcutta, Saurav Ganguly was overheard enquiring ,if he will be violating any law if he uses a black joota to slap a grey chappal.
October 29--Novenber 3,2006
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1)Trouble in neighbour Bangaladesh.India says she wants to see peace in Bangladesh.And Bangladesh reciprocates --she would like a piece of India.
2)A man In MP who died at the age of 125 claimed he was Netaji Bose.Authorities are thinking of calling in Nehru and Gandhi to verify the claims and identify the body.
3)BJP attacked Arundhati Roy for defending Afzal Guru.Their spokesman said "she is a prisoner of her own dogma's".I'm not sure whether they understand that sentence or in a sneaky way they are calling her a dogs mama .
4)An Australian muslim cleric Al Hilali---said that women who don't dress modestly are like uncovered meat which the neighbours cat will eat.How rude!!!IHow can anyone be so derogatory towards cats???
5)Sonia Gandhi says she had a close working relationship with Natwar Singh--that was just before the Volker report .They shared dana and tel.......
6)Nobel laureate Amartya Sen in a keynote address at the Beijing forum ,called for a proper understanding of the nature of global civilizations,to avoid political tensions in the world.That exercise has revealed that global civilizations do not have understanding nature.........so there goes the notion of tension free world.
7)Newspapers are reporting that Musharraf's recent US trip has been the costliest ever for Pakistan.Wait till they do a full audit.What has come out is only "General expenses".
8)Former US Pr.Jimmy Carter is going to donate 100 houses to the poor.Beneficiaries were going to be mainly S Castes.But after he caught a glimpse of Malaika Arora in Nach Baliye he was overcome with emotion and changed his plans--kapda not makan will be donated....
9)Sonia Gandhi in an interview to NDTV said she feels betrayed by Natwar Singh.See thats why its not right to form hasty judgements about people .Natwar can betray??All these years everyone thought his only talent was to bray.
10)Sonia Gandhi says she felt betrayed by Natwar Singh.In fact she had gotten so, so ,so depressed she decided only some sacrifice will cheer her up and thats when she decided to sacrifice him.
11)Chath was celebrated in Bihar.Prayers are offered to the rising sun.This comes on the 6th day from Diwali.But congress are more religious .They have their own tradition of 365 days chath--- tributes are paid to Madam's rising son every single day.
12)Bihar has a big phataka(fire crackers)bazaar.There is a wholesale market of firecrackers in Patna city .It is here that repacking and renaming of crackers is done .One of them goes by the name of Laloo Prasad.
13)At the annual conference of State Minorities Commision Prime Minister Manmohan Singh said on thrusday that the nation does not belong to any one "race".Do you hear that Ektaa Kapoor?He was taunting you, ask your "Saas & Bahu's unlimited" to give space to other races......
14)Manmohan Singh was in full form ,speaking at the minorities commission conference.He said "....this nation belongs to a mosaic of religiously ,linguistically and culturally varied communities." Isn't this just another way of saying it belongs to Sonia Gandhi,Shabana Azmi and himself and you hindus "buzz-off"?
15)If you take what the Prime Minister says about the nation at face value --it does'nt belong to a single race ,and its a mosaic of something, something ,something......then I think Brad Pitt and the jolly Angelina should be told not to hop from country to country adopting kids. I believe they planned to adopt an Indian kid anyways and name him/her "India".The better option would be to adopt just one Indian kid and call him/her/it "Multiracial".
16)Former US President Clinton(and Monica Lewinsky's former whatever..) keeps coming to India.No I don't have anything against him---"Athithi Devo Bhavo" and all that ...Its just that Abu Salem is becoming suspicious....
17) PM's heart has started bleeding for minorities all over again.Doctors at AIIMS are saying it is the result of some virus in the air--- called "election gunya".
18)Public accounts commitee of Tamil Nadu assembly claims that a giant tree in the Chekkalmadi area is the tallest teak tree in the country.Wow! all the records go to Tamil Nadu --tallest teak!!as if it is not enough that they host the fattest freak of the country.
19)Shoaib Aktar said in his own defence that probably a high protein diet resulted in his testing positive.Rahul Mahajan immediately had a flash memory--he recalled drinking a lot of dal soup that tragic night.
20)Former external affairs minister Jaswant Singh in an interactive session at the John Hopkins Univ. said "there is difficulty when US acts in the region as an equiliser.It has pursued a policy of bolstering Pakistan which then encourages Pakistan to box well above its weight".Weight---.00000000000000000000000000000019kg.
